Shit my dad says

I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

"You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it."

"The universe does not give a fuck about you. You are a speck in its shit."

"Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."